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they work with private data types, so there is no point in having them public

so that we exercise the dialWorker dial to self error path

we might get more connections because simultaneous dials can succeed
and we have both TCP and QUIC addrs by default

for consistency with the old dialer behaviour.

i want to use binary literals; technically only requires 1.13, but let's not be ancient

makes TestDialBackoff happy

Otherwise, canceling one dial request will cancel all "joined" dial requests.

Given two relay connections, prefer the one that's non-transient.
Otherwise, a transient connection could prevent us from opening streams
even if we have a second non-transient connection through a better relay.

* support for forced direct connections.

update deps to fix broken testing package

Treat transient connections as opt-in when opening new streams