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we might get more connections because simultaneous dials can succeed
and we have both TCP and QUIC addrs by default

for consistency with the old dialer behaviour.

i want to use binary literals; technically only requires 1.13, but let's not be ancient

makes TestDialBackoff happy

Otherwise, canceling one dial request will cancel all "joined" dial requests.

Given two relay connections, prefer the one that's non-transient.
Otherwise, a transient connection could prevent us from opening streams
even if we have a second non-transient connection through a better relay.

* support for forced direct connections.

update deps to fix broken testing package

Treat transient connections as opt-in when opening new streams

avoid assigning a function to a variable

only listen on localhost in tests

prevent dialing addresses that we're listening on

It's impossible to run two nodes on the same IP:port, so we know for
sure that any dial to an address that we're listening on will fail (as
the peer IDs won't match).
In practice, this will be most useful for preventing dials to localhost
for nodes that are listening on the default port.